英语短篇小说 | How I Edited an Agricultural Paper 我怎样编农业报 马克·吐温
I did not take temporary editorship of an agricultural paper without misgivings. Neither would a landsman take command of a ship without misgivings.
英语文摘
英语幽默 | 绝配
Eventually, a painter approaches who is confident he can mix the proper color. The woman is pleased with the result, and the painter becomes famous.
最后，来了位油漆匠，自信能调出那种颜色。富婆对他做的活非常满意，油漆匠于是一举成名。
英语短篇小说 | The Facts in the Case of the Great Beef Contract 大宗牛肉合同事件纪实 马克·吐温
The origin of this distressful thing was this--and I assert here that every fact in the following resume can be amply proved by the official records of the General Government.
英语幽默 | 经典搞笑雷人语录
My advantage is that I am handsome, but my disadvantage is that the handsomeness is not so obvious.
我的优点是：我很帅，我的缺点是：我帅的不够明显。
英语短篇小说 | Jeff Peters as a Personal Magnet 催眠师杰夫·彼得斯 欧·亨利
Jeff Peters has been engaged in as many schemes for making money as there are recipes for cooking rice in Charleston, S.C.
英语幽默 | 家庭作业
Teacher: I'm able to read one of the essays you did for homework, but the other one is written very poorly.
老师：我只能读通你的一篇作文，可另一篇实在是糟透了。
英语短篇小说 | Confessions of a Humorist 幽默作家的自白 欧·亨利
There was a painless stage of incubation that lasted twenty-five years, and then it broke out on me, and people said I was It.
英语幽默 | 光着脚去约会
In secondary school, I was always self-conscious about my height.
念中学的时候，我对自己的身高非常敏感。
英语短篇小说 | An Unfinished Story 未了情 欧·亨利
We no longer groan and heap ashes upon our heads when the flames of Tophet are mentioned. For, even the preachers have begun to tell us that God is radium, or ether or some scientific compound, and that the worst we wicked ones may expect is a chemical reaction.
英语幽默 | 逻辑思维
The teacher told the class the story of a man who swam a river three times before breakfast.
老师给同学们讲了一个小故事，说有一个人早饭前要在河里游泳，横渡三趟。
英语幽默 | 她把所有的诱饵都吃了
"I'll talk to her," his mother said, "and I promise this time she won't make any noise."
“我会告诉她，”妈妈说，“我保证这次她不会吵闹了。”
英语短篇小说 | Between Rounds 回合之间 欧·亨利
The May moon shone bright upon the private boarding-house of Mrs. Murphy. By reference to the almanac a large amount of territory will be discovered upon which its rays also fell. Spring was in its heydey, with hay fever soon to follow.