So the other day I told you what I did over this summer. And I forgot to mention something pretty important, pretty big, I can describe it in one word, Oscar.
昨天呢我跟大家分享了一下我的假期，然后我发现我忘了一条很重要很重要的消息，用一个词来形容呢，就是：奥斯卡。
My neighbor Oscar finally got his braces off. He has perfect teeth so he only has to wear the retainer for two years, so that's good.
我邻居奥斯卡终于把他的牙套给取下来了。他现在牙非常整齐，所以只用再戴两年的固定架就行了，对他来说这是个好事。
And in addition to that, I actually agreed to host the academy awards again this year.
另外，我确实答应了再次主持奥斯卡颁奖典礼。
So...I hosted in 2007, it was fun, it was an honor, and it's a big decision, you know, and I... I really... they called and said how about it this year, and I was like, ehhh, it's a big decision, and I want to think about it.
我2007年主持过一次，挺开心的，觉得很荣幸，当然啦这也是一个很重大的决定。所以他们来电问我是否愿意再度出山时，我说，额，这是一个很重大的决定，我得需要点时间考虑考虑。
And the way I deal with big decisions is, I think a lot of people do this, I make a pros and conslist.
我在做重大决定的时候一般都会列一个利弊清单，我相信很多人也都是这样的吧。
And I thought I would take you on a journey inside of my mind, which is scary, hold on.
我本打算带你们到我得思维深处去逛一圈，可是太吓人了，先打住。
And I though I'd read you some pros and cons from my list that I... so umm...
我还是晒出清单，把主持奥斯卡的利弊念给大家听听好了。
This is my cvs receipt, this is not...
这是CVS商店的购物小票，不是我的清单……
That's...sorry.
不好意思。
I keep that with me in case I have to return anything, at all times, always, even during... when I do a show, I always have it with me.
我一般都会随身携带小票以防要退货，随时随地哦，哪怕是在录节目也不例外。
Now it's in my sock.
不在兜里就肯定在袜子里了。
That's where I keep my pros and cons list.
我的利弊清单一般都藏在这。
Now I'm gonna have to change my hiding place, because...
不过现在我得再找个新地方藏了， 因为……
Ok, so here's a pro: I get to perform in fromt of 60 millon people.
好了，第一个好处是：我将会在六千万观众前一展迷人风采。
Con: Oh my god, 60 million people watch that thing.
弊：额滴神呐，六千万人要看这个。
pro: I'll be invited to all the cool oscar after parties.
利：颁奖礼后我会受邀参加各大欢庆派对。
con: I'd like to be tucked in by 7:30.
弊：可是我想在7点半前就上床睡觉。
pro: Meryl Streep could get a record 17th Oscar Nomination.
利：梅丽尔·斯特里普有可能创造17次奥斯卡提名的逆天记录。
con: Hashtag we're over it, Meryl.
弊：我们已经无感了。
pro: A lot of fancy designers will wanna approach me and want me to wear a beautiful, expensive gown of theirs.
利：到时候会有很多高端设计师来找我，想让我穿他们设计的大气上档次礼服。
con: Ain't no way in hell I'm wearing a gown.
弊：头可断血可流裙子不可穿。
pro: I've done that before, the second time should be even better.
利：我以前主持过一次，那么第二次的话应该会更受欢迎。
con: My second sitcom got canceled after five minutes.
弊：我的第二部情景喜剧当年只播了5分钟就被砍了。
pro: If I'm on stage hosting, I won't be sitting on my couch drinking margaritas.
利：如果我在台上主持的话 我就不会窝在沙发里喝玛格丽特了。
con: If I'm on stage hosting, I won't be sitting on my couch drinking margaritas.
弊：如果我在台上主持的话 我就不会窝在沙发里喝玛格丽特了。
pro: The theater holds 3000 seats.
利：整个剧院配了3000个观众席。
con: It's gonna take 45 minutes to dance throught all those aisles.
弊：我得花45分钟才能在所有过道里都跳一遍。
Which is crazy, 'cause... look how... It doesn't take me that long to dance through here.
那也太折腾了吧！因为，你们看看，在这里跳舞就用不了多久。
